Most of us have been nobly distancing from family members, but it might not be too long before we’re together again, and the potential for arguments could be all too great.
How do you protect yourself when words alone aren’t enough to placate? Well, you could do worse than buying a pre-owned armoured car. Once the preserve of high-ranking officials and the incredibly paranoid, such a vehicle would be perfect for beating a retreat from Nana’s wrath.
One of the major players in this field is Mercedes-Benz. It has been so ever since it took a special order from Emperor Hirohito for a 770 Pullman in 1935. That limousine set down the template that has been followed by every armoured car since, although those such as the 2002 S-Guard here are obviously far more sophisticated.
Much like that 1935 car, the W220 S-Guard has a reinforced body lined with armoured steel and thicker glass, but it was developed to a much higher standard, so it can withstand the worst your relatives can throw at it – even if that’s armour-piercing bullets. There’s even underfloor protection to deflect explosives. And all these armaments are so neatly integrated that you would have to be a real anorak to notice them.
The mechanicals were also beefed up to negate the extra weight of this mobile fortress, of course, enabling it to drive in a similarly relaxed fashion to the standard S-Class. Don’t expect spare parts to come cheap, however, because plenty of them are bespoke.
Even though this is an 18-year-old S-Class (albeit one that has done just 28,000 miles), it’s up for £24,995. But then it’s safer than any SUV, and you can’t really put a price on protection.
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Clever small cars
The millenium period was an interesting one for the evolution of the small car. The Mercedes A-class may have started the revolution but it was quickly followed by the Audi A2, Renault Modus and Honda Jazz. Of this quartet, I guess that only the Honda was a commercial success on a global scale, suggesting that conservatism won out on this occasion. It's sad, but I guess that the relative failure of these cars has discouraged other makers from creating bold innovative designs. Of late I can think of only one, the BMW i3 - and that seems destined to be replaced by something much less ambitious.
Armoured cars
These cars can only be recommended for people who truly believe they are at risk of being shot. The bullet proof glass and armour plating in the body weighs so much the cars are incredibly heavy, and thus are a lot slower than unarmoured cars, and a lot, lot thirstier too.
A rather bizarre and, dare I say, pointless recommendation for readers of Autocar.
martin_66 wrote:
Unless you're the local drug dealer casually breezing over the website
martin_66 wrote:
It is all tongue in cheek, just a light hearted bit of fun. Though I'm slightly disappointed they didn't find a road legal tank. Have to say I do enjoy these second hand pick articles every Friday. Always interesting to see what curios pop up.
A bit more research....
....the Snatch? Notorious as having the monicker "mobile coffins" for their distinct lack of protection? Despised by troops who love every other LR. This one would rather be forgotten....