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The 1980s was a crazy decade and at the end of it the global economy overheated and – like the aftermath of all great parties – it got a serious hangover.
As a result it was an era in which the seriously rich got the opportunity to display their wealth by commissioning a ludicrously ostentatious car thanks to a raft of companies that sprang up to stretch, decapitate and upholster already valuable cars to within an inch of their lives. Here we look at some of the best (worst) examples of these overblown cars; let us know if you like them as there’s plenty more where these came from...
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Chameleon Typhoon (1984)
Based on the Mercedes-Benz 500 SEC (the Chameleon pre-dated the 560 SEC), this was the flagship product of a company that specialised in the vulgar. Everything was thrown at the range-topping Mercedes coupé; wide-arch bodykit, engine upgrades (including supercharging) and a retrimmed interior crammed with the latest tech including TV and video. Nice.
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Glenfrome 1000 SEL (1984)
Straight off the set of Miami Vice but built in Britain, the 1000 SEL was built by Bristol-based Glenfrome and based on the W126 Mercedes S-Class. Stretched by 36 inches the interior kitsch level was turned up to 12 and so was the exterior’s, thanks to the gold-plated exterior trim.
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Koenig Boxer (1980-)
Willy Koenig bought his own Ferrari Boxer in 1974 and decided he wanted something faster and more distinctive, so he farmed the car out to companies who could make it more powerful and look more outrageous. His friends saw it and asked him to do the same for them – a whole customising empire (called Koenig Specials) grew from that.
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Rinspeed 939 (1983)
If you’ve ever wondered what the result is of mating a 911 with a 928, then wonder no more. Swiss company Rinspeed grafted a 928’s front and rear lights into a Porsche 911 Turbo and this was the result – complete with all-white colour scheme inside and out.
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Autocostrizione Salvatore Diomante (1983)
It’s fair to say that this four-door convertble hasn’t aged well, but then did it really look desirable when new? Proof that money doesn’t buy taste, this Italian take on the Rolls-Royce Silver Spirit cost around £200,000 (about US$300,000 at the time) in 1986. You could probably lop at least two zeros off that to find its current worth.
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Hooper Turbo R (1988)
Hooper opened its doors in 1805 and closed them in 1959. Along the way it worked mainly on special-bodied Rolls-Royces and Bentleys, but the name was revived in 1988 to offer two-door versions of the Rolls-Royce Silver Spirit and Bentley Turbo R. Compared with many of the horrors around at the time, these cars were very restrained – but still hugely expensive.
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Chameleon 1000 SEL (1983)
There’s no denying that the standard of craftsmanship with these cars was exquisite, but if you suffered from having any taste you’d have run (or at least been chauffeur-driven) a mile rather than splash out on one of these.
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Malcolm Cole Range Rover (1985)
One of the staples of the coachbuilder throughout the 1980s was the Range Rover, which could be turned into just about anything you wanted it to be. This was the Malcolm Cole take, complete with six-wheel drive for better traction.
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Wood & Pickett Cheltenham 6 (1985)
Sounding like a gang of criminals rather than an uber-costly off-roader, the Wood & Pickett Cheltenham 6 was another six-wheel drive Range Rover. As this publicity shot shows, the target market for such cars was made very clear with that Arabic number plate.
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Wood & Pickett Sheer Rover (1985)
You didn’t have to have six wheels; Wood & Pickett was just as happy to build you a stretched Range Rover with just one wheel at each corner. This is perhaps its best-known product, its Sheer Rover with its distinctive sloping nose.
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Wood & Pickett Goodwood (1985)
Alternatively, you could have an open-topped Range Rover. Compared with many of the abominations in this article, the Wood & Pickett Goodwood was remarkably restrained.
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A.E. Smith Hunting Conversion (1984)
Of course you didn’t have to settle for either stretched or chopped – you could have both if you wanted. This Hunting Car by A.E. Smith was just the job for bagging a few pheasants on a Sunday morning.
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Vantagefield Range Rover (1992)
Up front there was space for two while in the lengthened rear section was a longitudinally mounted seat, drinks cabinet, TV and hi-fi for whiling away those long drives across the desert.
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Townley Desert Ranger (1984)
Surely the ultimate of ultimate Range Rovers, the Townley Desert Ranger wasn’t just stretched to the point where it surely needed an heavy-truck licence to drive it, but it was also widened by 30cm too. We suspect not many of these were built...
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Glenfrome Portway (1984)
We introduced Glenfrome to you earlier, and one of the things the company really liked to do was mess about with Range Rovers. One of its most extreme offering was the Portway, a six/seven-door car with every conceivable luxury known to man crammed into the interior.
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Glenfrome Ashton (1984)
Glenfrome was also happy to slice the roof off your Range Rover if that’s what you preferred. This is the Ashton, with its new nose and polished wheels. At least the lines were generally clean though.
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SVC (1987)
Our final Range Rover is courtesy of SVC, which seemingly just lopped the roof off but kept some bracing in place so the Rangie didn’t feel like a jelly to drive. But looking at the shut lines on the bonnet’s nearside corner the build quality was a bit approximate to say the least...
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Koenig Mercedes SEC (1987)
The Mercedes SEC is a rather handsome beast with its discreet lines. But not by the time Koenig had finished sticking on its trademark wide arches – although we like the cabriolet conversion. Shame Mercedes didn’t offer an official open-topped SEC.
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Rinspeed R69 (1983)
Rinspeed offered a stack of different packages for 911 fans desperate to be different and this one was called the R69. The nose looked quite neat but the company had obviously been looking at the Koenig catalogue a bit too closely.
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Exclusive Auto-Design 1000 SEL (1983)
The Mercedes W126 S-Class was a staple of the eighties tuner and nowhere was this put to better (worse) effect than with the Exclusives Auto-Design 1000 SEL (yes, another). With gold plating all over the place this is clearly the perfect transport for dictators the world over; the options list even contained a gold-plate gearknob in the shape of a hawk’s head.
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B&B 928 cabriolet (1980)
Brothers Rainer and Dieter Buchman set up B+B in the 1970s, uprating Porsches for wealthy clients; they soon branched out into Mercedes and Volkswagen too. Perhaps best known for its 928 targa conversion, B+B also offered this rather fetching 928 convertible.